It's ok to make mistakes

Once.
Then you're expected to learn from it.

What i've learnt this year is that im not as strong, as smart or as capable as i thought i am.
I need a lot of help and i should not be ashamed of asking for it.
I have wonderful, amazing friends whose house is now full of stuff. My stuff.
I will not even start imagining moving all that to the new place which is very-very far away.
Next year will be my year of elimination.

I am not able to let go of material goods.

But i will learn how.

Liez,

you do not need 7 Tefal pans or all those ripped up jeans.

You do not need all those shrunken t-shirts.

Next year i will purge my room of all old unneccessary things. I dont want to be a junk collecting bag/box lady. I dont want to suffer when moving. Like today, tonight.

I cant help but think that my things define me. But they dont. My experiences do, and i should learn how to savour them more, cherish them and remember them.

I should not be ashamed of not knowing.
But eager to learn and remember.

I will never again get high 10 hours before i need to get on a plane. Worse, having to pack and shovel all my stuff away before then. The high helped the packing- the hours felt like minutes and the pain and panic is a haze.

The sun is rising now and i am headed home. My third year as a medical student has ended and im sad for lost opportunities and hoping that i made through the year. They'll be changes next year, difficult adaptations. For my anchor is leaving me, at long last. I may have, in the last years, imagine i have lost her, but physically she was always near. Now, oceans will part us, and distance and laziness will wear at what's left.

The last vestiges of green haze still adhere to the peripheries of my conciousness- even when im high i feel lonely.

The power of belief

Will the sheer belief that i will pass help me pass?

I hope against hope i will.

I don't see an alternative.

Today was ok. I hope for a better tomorrow.

Then its frenzy packing, loading up and off home!

It's a need, no longer a want

There's the ciggies and the painkillers.
When did i turn into a 1/2 a pack a day kida girl?

It's ironic if medical school killed me.

Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger
A little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me
If I should buy jellybeans
Have to eat them all in just one sitting
Everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter
A little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me

paper one part 2- done

it was HARDER.

I've even lost my appetite for shopping.

paper one- done

it was not what i expected.
It was HARD.

Discombobulated

Out-of-sorts

Plain wierd.

Argh, help me regain my sanity, wits and wisdom.

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Young people angry at politicians
shopping for mayonaise while staring the most beautiful woman with gorgeous legs encased in knee high white/purple gym socks. The socks did it for me.
An unexpected phone call.
A choice to make, decisions.
No time.
Much to read.

slightly less discombobulated.
Stuff i need to read still is a 'mille-feiulle'

-------------------------------------------------------

Decision made.
I hope i didnt just imagine that phone call.
Life is complicated.

Mille-feuille

So.....much........to.......read.......

Exam....thursday..........

Note:
Hot librarians are not a myth. My library have successfully acquired 3 of these rare, delectable specimens.