Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Wednesday, May 06, 2015
I want to shout it from the rooftops, I want to tell everyone I see
I think I love him
and he loves me.
We're sick together- this viral chest has become 2 days off work for me, 5 days of antibiotics and falling asleep with my mouth open with all his friends there while watching the boxing.
He's holding on, having given him a short course of antibiotics to clear this nasty chest thing.
I spent an afternoon with his dad and him- picking up his furniture, having lunch and watching rugby. I was busy in the kitchen while the men explained the game to me.
Later we went for dinner with his close friends and their partners- it felt very grown up, with everyone fawning over the baby while others talk about having a baby. I felt a little out of place amongst close friends, but instead of leaving me to fend for myself he kept a reassuring presence; a hand on my shoulder, a smile from across the room.
I cried for no good reason later in bed- a combination of PMS, illness and a little overwhelmed by the day. We just slept in each other's arms, with me coughing intermittently into his chest.
It struck me, that I loved him when I woke up alone in his bed Monday. He had gone off to work and I didn't need to leave till much later. As I was cleaning his house it dawned on me- I love him, care about him and my pathetic attempts at trying to save my heart was just that, pathetic. I decided to love with all I've got.
I chucked out his ex's stuff (things I told him not to throw away in the first place- I swear her make-up remover was stinging my eyes....). In it's place I've put my stuff; things I need when I'm there. I cleaned and decorated. If I knew how to use his washing machine I would even do his laundry. And I stayed till he came home. And I loved him. Loved him as much as I could in the 20 minutes before I had to leave.
The drive didn't even feel that far anymore. I guess Im quitting being scared and letting myself feel this, embrace it.
and he loves me.
We're sick together- this viral chest has become 2 days off work for me, 5 days of antibiotics and falling asleep with my mouth open with all his friends there while watching the boxing.
He's holding on, having given him a short course of antibiotics to clear this nasty chest thing.
I spent an afternoon with his dad and him- picking up his furniture, having lunch and watching rugby. I was busy in the kitchen while the men explained the game to me.
Later we went for dinner with his close friends and their partners- it felt very grown up, with everyone fawning over the baby while others talk about having a baby. I felt a little out of place amongst close friends, but instead of leaving me to fend for myself he kept a reassuring presence; a hand on my shoulder, a smile from across the room.
I cried for no good reason later in bed- a combination of PMS, illness and a little overwhelmed by the day. We just slept in each other's arms, with me coughing intermittently into his chest.
It struck me, that I loved him when I woke up alone in his bed Monday. He had gone off to work and I didn't need to leave till much later. As I was cleaning his house it dawned on me- I love him, care about him and my pathetic attempts at trying to save my heart was just that, pathetic. I decided to love with all I've got.
I chucked out his ex's stuff (things I told him not to throw away in the first place- I swear her make-up remover was stinging my eyes....). In it's place I've put my stuff; things I need when I'm there. I cleaned and decorated. If I knew how to use his washing machine I would even do his laundry. And I stayed till he came home. And I loved him. Loved him as much as I could in the 20 minutes before I had to leave.
The drive didn't even feel that far anymore. I guess Im quitting being scared and letting myself feel this, embrace it.
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