Choreography?
Fatness?
A week?
Red blond roots?
Fun-fun!
Uh-o!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Uh-o!
I never learn my lesson.
My roots are now a familiar, painful shade of red-gold.
Just when i think my hair looks nice, in great condition i fucking bleach it orange.
and guess what- it's just my roots.
she didnt listen when i said do the ends first and the roots later.
ugh.
My roots are now a familiar, painful shade of red-gold.
Just when i think my hair looks nice, in great condition i fucking bleach it orange.
and guess what- it's just my roots.
she didnt listen when i said do the ends first and the roots later.
ugh.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Cranky
im out to pick a fight.
Im so pissed off at everything, anything.
Everyone is pissing me off, trying to help-just stay outta of my way.
the headaches are back.
the best thing is to stay quiet and eat my pills.
Im so pissed off at everything, anything.
Everyone is pissing me off, trying to help-just stay outta of my way.
the headaches are back.
the best thing is to stay quiet and eat my pills.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
UM / SMS
stands for unmarried or single mother status.
i was told today that all single mothers here are referred to social care after delivering their baby. They're also not allowed to leave hospital with their babies unless accompanied by a parent or legal guardian. It doesn't matter how old they are, they're not allowed to go home with their baby on their own or with their unmarried partner, unless a parent or legal guardian comes along.
It's to safeguard the baby and mother's welfare, so they say.
i was told today that all single mothers here are referred to social care after delivering their baby. They're also not allowed to leave hospital with their babies unless accompanied by a parent or legal guardian. It doesn't matter how old they are, they're not allowed to go home with their baby on their own or with their unmarried partner, unless a parent or legal guardian comes along.
It's to safeguard the baby and mother's welfare, so they say.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Privileged existance
i may whinge and whine, but the truth is i realize my i lead a privileged life. It's predictable and a tad boring, but safe and secure for it.
Sure i didnt get everything i wanted, but i didnt have to suffer for anything. I never HAD to work to get what i needed. I coud even indulge my whims.
The priviledge, protected existance isn't the issue. It's how i feel about it.
I don't feel like i deserve any of this.
Every time is see or hear of someone struggling to make ends meet i feel guilty that i have it so good. I feel guiltier that im unable to help.
I feel awfully guilty that i obsess about my weight and my looks, that i want an i-phone and aim to purchase a chanel bag in the next year.
middle class guilt, eh? Is there a cure? Does paying taxes and giving a couple of quid to charity ease the guilt somewhat?
Most of the time the guilt is forgotten amongst envy of designer dresses, fast cars and beautiful bodies; but it surfaces at the randomest of times and it leaves this hollow feeling in my gut, a bit like sadness.
Sure i didnt get everything i wanted, but i didnt have to suffer for anything. I never HAD to work to get what i needed. I coud even indulge my whims.
The priviledge, protected existance isn't the issue. It's how i feel about it.
I don't feel like i deserve any of this.
Every time is see or hear of someone struggling to make ends meet i feel guilty that i have it so good. I feel guiltier that im unable to help.
I feel awfully guilty that i obsess about my weight and my looks, that i want an i-phone and aim to purchase a chanel bag in the next year.
middle class guilt, eh? Is there a cure? Does paying taxes and giving a couple of quid to charity ease the guilt somewhat?
Most of the time the guilt is forgotten amongst envy of designer dresses, fast cars and beautiful bodies; but it surfaces at the randomest of times and it leaves this hollow feeling in my gut, a bit like sadness.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Driving issues
Today i took my mom's car for a spin. With my brother riding shotgun, helping me with my uber-rusty driving.
I came home to a scream-fest from my mother. Now i recall how much i can hate her, and why i had issues with her when i was younger and living at home.
It was totally uncalled for. We arrived all in one piece; drivers, passenger and car. What the fuck is your problem?
Driving in a fucking parking lot will not make me a fucking better driver on the road. That's fucking logical, innit? Yes, so maybe there are crazy drivers on the road and unfortunately that's out of MY fucking control- they'll exist and are still potentially able to kill me even if i drive like fucking schumacher.
Fuck it, you just worried i fuck up the car.
Thanks for all the encouragement.
I came home to a scream-fest from my mother. Now i recall how much i can hate her, and why i had issues with her when i was younger and living at home.
It was totally uncalled for. We arrived all in one piece; drivers, passenger and car. What the fuck is your problem?
Driving in a fucking parking lot will not make me a fucking better driver on the road. That's fucking logical, innit? Yes, so maybe there are crazy drivers on the road and unfortunately that's out of MY fucking control- they'll exist and are still potentially able to kill me even if i drive like fucking schumacher.
Fuck it, you just worried i fuck up the car.
Thanks for all the encouragement.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Saturday, April 03, 2010
1/52
A week of electives.
It's similar yet there are many differences. I have never been around so many pregnant women all my life. It's a little bit scary, but also very rewarding when you get a perfect little cherub being born.
It's also very distressing and sad when they're not well. Or if they're dead.
Therefore, doctors and nurses are rightfully high strung. Still, they're friendly as can be expected and if left to do what i like, which is good.
Need to do some reading this week, in preparation for next week.
The elective must be affecting me big time because i had a nightmare about being single, pregnant and in labour. In my dream i was being driven to the hospital by my parents and it was through treacherous areas like jungle, cliffs and narrow bridges in a 4x4. The scary bit was actually the fact that i was a single parent AND having my parents going frantic driving me. I remembered in my dream being so upset with myself.
It's similar yet there are many differences. I have never been around so many pregnant women all my life. It's a little bit scary, but also very rewarding when you get a perfect little cherub being born.
It's also very distressing and sad when they're not well. Or if they're dead.
Therefore, doctors and nurses are rightfully high strung. Still, they're friendly as can be expected and if left to do what i like, which is good.
Need to do some reading this week, in preparation for next week.
The elective must be affecting me big time because i had a nightmare about being single, pregnant and in labour. In my dream i was being driven to the hospital by my parents and it was through treacherous areas like jungle, cliffs and narrow bridges in a 4x4. The scary bit was actually the fact that i was a single parent AND having my parents going frantic driving me. I remembered in my dream being so upset with myself.
Pretty.
I think kyu-grade (the children's grade, before the dan-grades)is all about being able to clean the floor without falling over and being faster about it then the 4 year olds.
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