I always though droll had a bad meaning, like someone that's a bore and always complaining (i.e yours truly) but i found out today it has totally opposite meaning.
droll /dr@Ul/
· adj. amusing in a strange or quaint way.
· n. archaic a jester; a buffoon.
– DERIVATIVES drollery n. drollness n. drolly /"dr@Ulli/ adv.
– ORIGIN C17: from Fr. drôle, perh. from MDu. drolle ‘imp, goblin’.
The weekend has been wasted, but in a good way. I still have things unfinished, but im not too worried yet.
I watched Frida (the movie), slept tonnes, read up on greek mythology and malaria. Oh, and i called up my parents.
Must finish off pbl tonite and call up some friends just to chat.
Did i tell you all how im in love with my surgical registrar? He doesnt give two hoots about me, but im a smitten kitten anyways.....
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
i'm spending the weekend in harlow- spent my time wisely....i watched the whole first season of Heroes and got tonnes of sleep.
Think i might be able to face next week.
I was suicidal on friday. The horrible mix of bad week, PMS and nasty luck making me hate life and forsee no future.
I still cannot forsee any future for myself, not in medicine, not in anywhere. Its like i lost my 3rd eye. Im used to knowing what to expect and now i just cant see where this is going.
I've lost motivation and really, i dont know what im doing..............
What the hell was i thinking when i thought i could do this whole medicine thing.
Argh- i my hate life, i hate me, i have no idea what's going on.
Will have proper update when back in london in a week.
Thank God its a nice autumn day outside.
Think i might be able to face next week.
I was suicidal on friday. The horrible mix of bad week, PMS and nasty luck making me hate life and forsee no future.
I still cannot forsee any future for myself, not in medicine, not in anywhere. Its like i lost my 3rd eye. Im used to knowing what to expect and now i just cant see where this is going.
I've lost motivation and really, i dont know what im doing..............
What the hell was i thinking when i thought i could do this whole medicine thing.
Argh- i my hate life, i hate me, i have no idea what's going on.
Will have proper update when back in london in a week.
Thank God its a nice autumn day outside.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Humdrum hospital life
Going for clinical placements is supposed to be a great and exciting time, where im learning at the frontline of medicine, putting my knowledge and skills to the test.
Instead im taking naps at midday.
Its been a let-down. And i dont know if its me, my firm or my house-officer. I've been on firm for 2 days- and the total hours ive been on the wards is probably 5 hours. Today was slightly better than yesterday. Yesterday i went in for about an hour- got some teaching on taking a history and appendicitis and then was sent to the library to do some 'reading'. The library was cold so i went to my room for a nap. My post-mortem at 12 was cancelled so i faffed about till the lecture at 1. In the afternoon i hunted down my house-officer for a good 45 minutes, i bleeped him 3 times! When i managed to call him, he sent me home for the day.
Today i came in bright and early and had a ward round. Saw a patient and did a clinical examination, though not throughly. Got some teaching and then got sent off home. The firm only has 3 patients- we did have 4, but one got sent to another department. I arrived back at my room at 11.30, napped and hit the local library for some internet.
Not what i was looking for. Or expecting or anticipating from my clinical firms. I would've been content if everyone else wasn't learning anything- but they're all running about and doing things. They're taking blood, clearking patients, being grilled by consultants (its twisted, but i really want to be grilled- it makes me learn) and having a proper clinical education.
I haven't even met my consultant.
Maybe its me. Maybe its the fact that i had a bird shit on my head on Monday.
A bird with diarrhoea.
I was standing in Liverpool St. station when suddenly i heard a splat and felt wetness on my head and saw green white bird poo all over my lovely red jacket. It killed all the excitement i had for firms. Some people say its lucky. I think its a bloody chore and fucking embarrasing. I had towash my hair in the sink at the station toilet and pop my jacket in a paper bag to clean later that evening.
Maybe some would consider it lucky that i get to take afternoon naps, eat pizza and be stupid and lazy. I dont want to. I want to learn. While im still motivated, shiny and new. Before i start hating hospitals, become fat and lazy and get bad habits.
Or maybe, just maybe, its me.
Instead im taking naps at midday.
Its been a let-down. And i dont know if its me, my firm or my house-officer. I've been on firm for 2 days- and the total hours ive been on the wards is probably 5 hours. Today was slightly better than yesterday. Yesterday i went in for about an hour- got some teaching on taking a history and appendicitis and then was sent to the library to do some 'reading'. The library was cold so i went to my room for a nap. My post-mortem at 12 was cancelled so i faffed about till the lecture at 1. In the afternoon i hunted down my house-officer for a good 45 minutes, i bleeped him 3 times! When i managed to call him, he sent me home for the day.
Today i came in bright and early and had a ward round. Saw a patient and did a clinical examination, though not throughly. Got some teaching and then got sent off home. The firm only has 3 patients- we did have 4, but one got sent to another department. I arrived back at my room at 11.30, napped and hit the local library for some internet.
Not what i was looking for. Or expecting or anticipating from my clinical firms. I would've been content if everyone else wasn't learning anything- but they're all running about and doing things. They're taking blood, clearking patients, being grilled by consultants (its twisted, but i really want to be grilled- it makes me learn) and having a proper clinical education.
I haven't even met my consultant.
Maybe its me. Maybe its the fact that i had a bird shit on my head on Monday.
A bird with diarrhoea.
I was standing in Liverpool St. station when suddenly i heard a splat and felt wetness on my head and saw green white bird poo all over my lovely red jacket. It killed all the excitement i had for firms. Some people say its lucky. I think its a bloody chore and fucking embarrasing. I had towash my hair in the sink at the station toilet and pop my jacket in a paper bag to clean later that evening.
Maybe some would consider it lucky that i get to take afternoon naps, eat pizza and be stupid and lazy. I dont want to. I want to learn. While im still motivated, shiny and new. Before i start hating hospitals, become fat and lazy and get bad habits.
Or maybe, just maybe, its me.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Pauper no more
I hate always being the broke one.
I never have enough money.
Its always been an issue with me. Am i too lazy , too blase when it comes to finances?
Do i spend too much or care too little about making money?
Its envy, everyone else is doing so well, and here i am, pretty much a proper starving student. Im living off free dinners, the kindness of others and Sainsbury's basics oven chips.
What happen to the cycle of wealth? What happened to all my savings, all that planning, all that self denial?
I have no fucking idea. I have to get to the bottom of this. I really need to check. I dont wanna always be the broke one, hell no.
I never have enough money.
Its always been an issue with me. Am i too lazy , too blase when it comes to finances?
Do i spend too much or care too little about making money?
Its envy, everyone else is doing so well, and here i am, pretty much a proper starving student. Im living off free dinners, the kindness of others and Sainsbury's basics oven chips.
What happen to the cycle of wealth? What happened to all my savings, all that planning, all that self denial?
I have no fucking idea. I have to get to the bottom of this. I really need to check. I dont wanna always be the broke one, hell no.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Deep s**t
Im gonna be in trouble.
Im actually 2 and a half months behind my rent, and i have no money to pay it off.
I broke my camera and i want a new one.
Im moving away and i need to travel back and forth often.
I dont wanna run to my parents for help. But there's no other way to get money. No other way.
I knew they'd be hell to pay for summer.
Im actually 2 and a half months behind my rent, and i have no money to pay it off.
I broke my camera and i want a new one.
Im moving away and i need to travel back and forth often.
I dont wanna run to my parents for help. But there's no other way to get money. No other way.
I knew they'd be hell to pay for summer.
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