Thursday, May 16, 2013

MMR

SO many things have happened.

Where do I start.....

I am committing career suicide. Is it deliberate or is this some self-actualizing secret suppressed desire to escape medicine? (what else can I do that'll set me up this comfortably? I have no other skill set to speak of)

My procrastination has reached epic proportions. Hypnotherapy and neural-linguistic programming is the next step i think. I never learn....

I decided to make an effort for someone, someone im not too sure about. It's alien to let myself be so vulnerable. He isn't perfect and he's far from the one; he's giving me a chance, so im gonna give this guy a shot.

Im learning to see my own beauty. Sure i scrub myself raw, rub all manner of unguents and spend loads of the right clothes; but i may just becoming that beautiful butterfly i never thought i'd become. Just a few more kilos darling.

Someone I know attempted suicide. I'd wouldn't have guessed they had the guts or the strength of character for a serious attempt.

The real reason for writing this entry: the MMR jab on left arm hurts like a bitch; and i have pins and needles radiating down my arm and up my neck. If i die before i wake i love you mom and dad; im sorry you had to clean up this mess.

To my brother; run away, fly free. Do it all now. Listen to what people tell you, see their point of view and then do what you think is right. Fall, get up, learn. Scars are stories. And remember; they'll love you no matter what and you are a good person.

I know i'll wake up tomorrow still in this mess.
Maybe with a dead arm.