Sunday, April 11, 2010

Privileged existance

i may whinge and whine, but the truth is i realize my i lead a privileged life. It's predictable and a tad boring, but safe and secure for it.

Sure i didnt get everything i wanted, but i didnt have to suffer for anything. I never HAD to work to get what i needed. I coud even indulge my whims.

The priviledge, protected existance isn't the issue. It's how i feel about it.

I don't feel like i deserve any of this.

Every time is see or hear of someone struggling to make ends meet i feel guilty that i have it so good. I feel guiltier that im unable to help.

I feel awfully guilty that i obsess about my weight and my looks, that i want an i-phone and aim to purchase a chanel bag in the next year.

middle class guilt, eh? Is there a cure? Does paying taxes and giving a couple of quid to charity ease the guilt somewhat?

Most of the time the guilt is forgotten amongst envy of designer dresses, fast cars and beautiful bodies; but it surfaces at the randomest of times and it leaves this hollow feeling in my gut, a bit like sadness.

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