Dear all

Here is the fall.

Well, it's a 8 months after the injury.

9 days after my operation. Every step still hurts, I still have a limp.

I've broken the 100 kg mark.

My skin is blotchy

My boyfriend is tired of me

His ex-fiancee is skinny, blonde and looks fucking gorgeous. I stalk her Facebook and Instagram but ignore her Youtube account (she hasn't posted anything on that since 2011). Her bio is #imawesome

I found his old memory card lying around- I went through his photos, even had a little teary self hate inducing slide show of the woman's photo's- heck, she's got no pores. Even on the ultra high definition TV.  For that, yeah maybe she's awesome.

This is my first cigarette in 18 months. I had to light it off the stove. And i'm forced to have the extractor fan on to get the smell out of the house.

Safe to say, I'm feeling very sorry for myself at the moment. Fuck it, I hate everything about myself.

I'm now not only fat and ugly but lame, fat and ugly.

One more cigarette and another cry, then I'll tidy the house. That might be a good reason for him to keep me around.