The exams were HARD.
Having the boy over was bittersweet. He sleeps better when I'm around (considering he has an insomnia problem I shouldnt take it as an insult) and we did our usual eat, screw and sleep. And sleep he did. I went for a shower and when I came out I was unable to wake him for a night out.We watched a whole movie together.
I was at his again this weekend and we went shopping for his mother's and sister's birthday presents. We also got our eyebrows threaded and we went our bar hopping in the evening. He sat down to roast dinner with more of my friends.
Then I spent Sunday evening sharing my insecurities with him; I held him close and admitted: quitting him is gonna be hard.
And quit him I must.
The reason I spent Sunday evening there: a first date didnt quite pan out.
Midweek he's seeing someone for a second date.
He's going away in October and he has two stops: at the first he is staying with an ex-girlfriend (from what I gathered is 'the one that got away') and there's a girl he's traveling especially to meet; they've been talking online for years.
What am I? The girl who helps him sleep. The one that keeps him from doing stupid things for sex. The one that take him out on adventures and do random things with. The girl who is teaching him how to drink.
What is he to me? I like him, I want him to like me. He's the first guy I slept with and at the moment the only one. He's my place to stay in London, drinking and restaurant buddy. He makes me feel beautiful and when we're together I feel special.
I used to be certain that he's not lying, but now im not so sure. Am I just an easy screw? I wont deny I make it easy- I go there, im always game and i dont cause a fuss when he mentions his other women. I even give him advice.
It thought I could get through this without caring, but Im getting attached. I buy him shoelaces for God's sake.
And when he lent me his jumper, all I did on the train home was sniff it till I felt like I was drowning in the smell of his detergent.
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