Self-doubt

Im one of those people who believe that if i want something bad enough, i'll get it. So, if i dont get something i want, it's all my fault for not wanting it enough.

Fuzzy logic, but it's a personal truth.

There's footnotes and exceptions; for example: if something is bad for me, i may not get it, however desperately i want it.

The power of this simple concept of getting what i want has its principles in the idea that our world is something we create. That i have a part of play in the grand scheme of things. My thoughts, beliefs and actions all contribute into making the world what it is. However little my ripples are in the grand ocean. I might not be the butterfly whose flutter wings cause the proverbial tornado across the world, but it may make the petals of a nearby flower to shiver. And thus the dominos continue to fall.

The idea is that if i cannot fathom the concept/idea/ thought of not getting something, that world, with that reality, will not exist for me. In that split second where there exist two possibilities, the only possibility that can exist and continue as reality is the one with what i want, only because i believe no other reality can exist.

So, based on the above arguments, to get what i want i must not be ready to accept anything else. I must go for what i want with a kind of tunnel vision focus- to want something so bad that nothing else exist but it. That my world would crumble if it doesn't happen. Because it i will get what i want, i only have to want to bad enough.

Self-doubt is most dangerous because it opens up the possibility that an alternative, less desirable outcome to become reality. At that important split second where multiple outcomes exist but our world can only pick one to become the current reality, there is a chance that the undesired outcome will become reality. If we consider that the both outcomes are equally possible, then there's a 50-50 chance i may get what i want. If i come up with more than one alternative outcome, the chances of getting what i ultimately want becomes smaller.

The conclusion is that to get what I want I have to be strong and not ever consider settling for less.

With the grace of God, of course.