I wanted to call you, but i didnt. I know you'd probably make me feel a little better, but i just couldn't.
Im feeling a little empty today. Hollow, but quiet. I can't even go to the gym to sweat it out cos i re-injured my knee. I would've been great if i could just do something instead of staying in my room all day, watching tv shows that only make me feel more empty.
I stayed in bed a lot, in that limbo between sleep and wakefulness where the subconcious rules. I am plagued by the sheer amount of things i need to do, but overwhelmed by lassisude that makes me unable to do anything. Nothing.
I'd like to disappear- go somewhere where i can start again. Reinvent myself; i'll probably fall into the same traps and hate myself all over again but at least there'll be that little bit of time where im capable of anything because i have not failed yet.
Hell, i hate this. Im still in my pyjamas and my knee wont straighten or bend fully. It hurts too, the painkillers stop working when i start moving. i may run off to the library later and stay late; a change of environment so perhaps i can work better.
If only my work could give me a sense of purpose. Some focus and motivation.
oh well. i'll talk to you soon ya. x
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