I wonder

Do I shop to compensate for something else? More clothes, shoes and make-up will NOT fix ANYTHING.

What's with Christmas underwear? The spirit of giving (place preferred sexual favour here)? Really?!

Is my obsession with tumblr blogs full of the pictures of pretty, skinny, young things a way for me to inspire self-hate and thus induce self-destructive, yet very effective dieting methods or just that i fancy pretty girls?

That idea that if you have a tendency to think you look horrible is most photographs means that you're vain because you think you should look better than what the objective camera lens is showing you makes sense?

when am i ever a womanly threat? Only when she steals my chocolate. Ouhhhhh...that's asking for it. But really, in any other situation, i ain't good enough to be dirt next to you darling.

how many calories are there is duck rice? Oh Ana, forgive me. Pardon your silly, weak daughter.

is it that i hate myself and i want to die, or more of i hate myself so i wanna be better; but i can't, so i might as well die. If a beautiful young model who walks for chanel thinks her life is so mundane she tops herself; what the hell am i doing still walking around?

what was it? I keep replaying it in my head;what i felt, what i thought- was it denial? is it; is it not? I'll never know and neither will you.

The friend goggles theory- is it (a) we see our friends as beautiful, amazing people because we see past their imperfections and appreciate the beauty of the whole person or (b) we are vain creatures that believe we only surround ourselves with similarly beautiful creatures.

when will i be able to afford lipo, the nose job, a body transplant and a life coach?

if you were right. It scares me that you know me so well.
We accept the love we think we deserve.

stop eating, keep puffing (exercise and ciggies, of course).

It's never gonna happen, is it?