My dilemma

i sit there and stare
i mouth the words
i say things
heard,
but not heeded.

Pained, i let them decree my joy.

I follow, for i fear disapproval.

I make not waves.
A bouy floats, it resists not.

And so i trash about, moving as they please
I say nothing
when it means so much
they do not listen
they do not know how

I dare not
For i will be
A sad loner freak
No more

I am the cause of my own misery.

How i wish
I could break free
Of the binds that tie me to
this spot of sea.

The cord is long
The waters deep
The seabed dark
And foundations strongs

Will i be happier floating free?
Or will i just feel lost
Just-by-myself-me?
Will i ever find
Kindreds who love me true

Do they exist
Or do i keep lying
To myself
To pass by
The endless floating days