Today was medicine in society- we go to hospital to talk to patients about their experience of disease, not about the disease itself. I’m in care of the elderly for this year and today’s visit has made me real sad. There was this old man we talked to that reminded me so much of my granddad. I miss him so much. He passed away when I was 19 and till today I still feel guilty about not being there when he passed away. He asked to see us, my brother and me, and we weren’t there. We were in the car, rushing to the hospital.
He spoilt me as a child- I remember still riding in the basket if the motorcycle to go to the shop for snacks. He placed a lot of importance in education- he wasn’t what you’d call highly educated, but he kept up with the news and read the Quran everyday. He was my family’s religious cornerstone. He’d say a special prayer for us every time we were ill or had an exam. Atuk was sharp and observant up to the end. He never forgot names or directions. He’d always tell us to work hard in school- that was one of the things he told my mom to tell us at the end. I remembered how happy he’d be when I told him of the A’s I got in exams- he’d actually cheer and whoop. He was so proud to know I went to college and wanted to do medicine. It’s a shame that he didn’t get to see me go to university.
Im crying as I write this- I miss his enthusiasm, his optimism and his belief in my ability. I miss atuk’s jokes and roaring laughter. How his white beard (I remember it as always being white) would tickle my cheek as I gave him a kiss. He would have loved the postcards that I send to grandma from the places I visit.
Atuk’s memory reminds me why I’m doing this and why it’s worth it. I hope he’ll be proud.
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