Im now fully committed to a self-improvement regime.
I've never eaten healthier, exercise more or taken such care with my face.
It's a lot of work.
and im finding that the harder i work, the worse i feel about myself.
Self hate sometimes rises up my gut like bile, giving a bad taste in my mouth. I start feeling sick and miserable then spend an hour worrying and looking up possible plastic surgery to fix what's wrong.
I think i have body dysmorphic disorder, but not the usual kind.
Jeans shopping last friday
I walked into one of the bigger high street clothes store. It's trendy clothes and i do own jeans from there. Walking along the denim section, i peruse through cuts, washes, waist cuts. I pick up an interesting pair of jeans.....yeah, they look my size, let's just check the tag....nope, they're actually 3 sizes too small.
That's my problem- i see myself as someone that is smaller, cuter, smarter, nicer. I think im so great when the glaring truth is that: i suck at lot more than i think i suck.
Graphically:
I dont think a case like mine has appeared in medical literature yet.
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