how do you know something is right

how do you decide if something is right?

Is it a gut feeling 

or something that properly thought out, planned, logical and makes sense?

I dont want to pursue something that will waste my time

But im wasting time doing nothing

So how do i decide?

Is it a serendipity, fate, luck

or think, ponder, analyze?

On a different note:

Baz is bad for me. 

He makes me want a Bottega Vanneta clutch and a Chanel 2.55. 

My justification is that it's an investment- my granddaughters will love me for it. 

Raya sucked. I felt alone, unloved, fat and ugly (when did i ever felt slim and beautiful?)

It picked up later in the day somewhat- at least i can still laugh at the irony of the situation. 

I realize i giggle to cover my nervousness and any feelings of insecurity. 

Im so insincere, i lack politeness and decorum- it bothers me. My shyness makes me meek, but i lack politeness and sincere caring. 

Sorry, i was off on a tangent. A little self hate goes a long way. 

Listening to Placebo doesnt help. 

But the pain is feels so good sometime. 

Hurt me just a little bit more.