It's odd, i think, that Frank Turner has not made it big. Like, absolutely huge.

I think he's amazing. He's an essential part of my British Experience - his songs reflects the oddities of the English going-out scene, lots of social commentary, a bit of existential crisis thrown in with a cute english accent. Also, the lyrics hit an emotional soft spot for me. The music makes me feel, a good thing when i'm growing numb and boring.

Went to his show in Shepherds Bush last week and it rocked! He's an amazing singer and as Ka-chan commented, adorably cute as well. We have a weakness for musicians and boys with curly hair. His rendition of an old english folk song about a cruel jealous girl called barbara allen wanted to make me cry and it was sheer joy to sing along to 'the ballad of me and my friends'.





It was a great gig- one of the best i've been to in awhile. The videos are from the gig i went to. Sweet.
Just got my copy of Love Ire & Song today.....so im kinda obsessed for the mo'.

Girl crush deux

from garance dore

It's the hair. My hair's growing out now that i'm tempted to get it trimmed just that little bit shorter at the neck. She's fucking gorgeous.

The oddest conversation:
" You're lucky- your boyfriend's charming, funny and hot. If only he was straight and not dating you"
"He's bi, you know."
"Huh? Oh sweetheart, let's not even go there. "

I owe it all to crazy friends

I now am a proud owner of a silver-grey, snake-skin print corset. And a blond wig, studded leather shoe-boots and gloves (matchy, matchy), home-slashed leggings and a scratchy yet fabulous faux gorilla fur glam jacket.

Im a lucky girl indeed. Yes, that is such a thing as faux gorilla fur.

Hmmm, slightly tipsy off blood wine (the totally unrefined, yet delicious combination of red wine and coke).

They made me look so hot. These guys are amazing.

Oh yeah, me and the 'boy that was the reason i came to london' have fate. I met a friend of his today who by the way is uber-cute, if a little annoying but with a gorgeous head of hair. So random.

We're waiting for pizza

Im wearing my pyjamas and a pair of studded, high-heel leather shoe boots, listening to frank turner.

Im using a cheese grater on a shirt. KY is stained pink from standing in the bathtub with said shirt on while i splatter red coloring all over him. That was fun. Now im just shredding my fingers and my feet hurt from the shoes.

But i will persevere because, "i wont sit down, and i wont shut up. Most important i will not grow up".

i did something

I've been thinking about it for awhile.

Some people said 'yeah, go for it'.
Most were adamant i shouldn't.

KY is gonna kill me. So will my mother.

I decided to run the risk. After all, what's the worse that could happen?

Famous last words......

I did it though. It's done.



I chopped off all my hair. Straight it's skimming my shoulders.
A woman who cuts her hair plans to change her life, right?
We'll see after it's had a wash; once it goes all curly.

Tawakal

This email is to confirm that your online application for the FP 2010 recruitment round has been received.

Your answers in the 'Questions' section will now be scored by your first choice foundation school. For more information on scoring and the next steps in the application process, refer to the "Foundation Applicant's Handbook".

Your application results will be available on 9 December 2009. From that date, you can login to your account for details of your overall application score and your foundation school allocation (if you have been successful).

Regards
The UK Foundation Programme Office

I love him!

My consultant is the yummiest, bestest, coolest consultant ever!

Heart!

I wanna grow up to be just like him. *wishes very hard*

say it loud

Post-kendo voice strain.

Probably the only sport where not only do the muscles and ego hurt, but my throat too.

committed

London to Kuala Lumpur, Thu, 25 Mar, 22:00, Flight MH1, Economy

Kuala Lumpur to London, Sat, 22 May, 23:40, Flight MH2, Economy

That was a lot of money. I hope i made the right decision. Too safe, lizzie, too safe.
When are you going to amaze yourself and do something crazy/exciting/brave and amazing?

Halloween

It's gonna be scary this year.

There might be a corset, fishnets, a blond wig and leopard print.

There will be 'single ladies', sexy men and an american football player.

I have to starve till the 31st. Did i mention corset? Oh yes, and he did mention leather and a whip too. It will be an interesting night. I wont let the pictures get on facebook. Promise.

Tell me, where can i get one for myself?

Yes, the smith's is the ultimate original. But I do like the death cab's version, but they changed that essential line which i love: "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care". Morrisey does sound more the part of a dead-sexy charming man though. I am looking for a beautiful acoustic version, but nothing on youtube sounds quite like i want it too.

So here's the smith's version. It's actually older than me.

punctured bicycle
on a hillside desolate
will Nature make a man of me yet?

When in this charming car
this charming man

Why ponder life's complexities
when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

I would go out tonight
but I haven't got a stitch to wear
this man said "It's gruesome
that someone so handsome should care"

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said "return the rings"
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

I would go out tonight
but I haven't got a stitch to wear
this man said "It's gruesome
that someone so handsome should care"

This charming man
this charming man

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said "return the ring"
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

Go figure. A lovely person, Chloe Le Fay on song meanings gives this *charmant* interpretation:

"Handsome and sexually confused young cyclist crashes and punctures one of the wheels, leaving him stranded, until he's picked up by a strangely obliging gent who convinces him that getting married would be a mistake and a fiasco, and presumably seduces him on the smooth leather of the passenger seat. Gotta love it."

It's official; my gaydar is dead.

And there's a country-banjo version too. right here.

It only gets weirder and weirder. I'd giggle if i wasn't mourning the death of my gaydar.

Just keep breathing

It doesnt matter if you are sent miles away; away from friends, from london, from all that is known and familiar.

Right?

It does, it does!!!! And why am i shopping online for coats when i should be working on this fucking application?! Why, why why?!!!!

I am a fucking idiot! (im sorry delicate ones, but the foul language is necessary to express how frustrating this is!)

This application hurts. and it matters so much, so so much. Papa was right, i do fear change. I am a true ox birth sign, i like stability, the known, the certain.

I hate the future. It's scary, unpredictable and uncertain. What i hate more is that i cannot express myself properly. I am a stuttering idiot! As ditsy and stupid as they come.

I imagine, in an evolutionary kind of picture, i should not have survived past my 10th birthday. Im not designed for surviving this kind of environment. I dont have the right adaptations. I should be dead. I semi-wish i was sometimes. It's so hard and i try and try because the shame of failure is too much but i'm nothing. That sucks and i just hate myself more and try harder and the vicious cycle keeps on going.

I survived!

I hope my patients did too.

I was almost dead by 6 am..... but coffee, lovey doctors and jaffa cake bars kept me going.

Woke up at 3 in the afternoon and was fed a lovely sunday roast!
Yes, i am a lucky, lucky cow.

The morning of many entries

I want to go skiing over christmas. But this is where i play grown up and do what i should do!!!! Argh!


But, this has made me sooooooo excited to see the decemberist in london!

As you can see, ive not been working on my job application. Shite!

This for all of us, whose hearts arent strong, just elastic/pliable:

Bénis sont les coeurs qui peuvent se plier, ils ne seront jamais cassés
-albert camus-

Sometimes i think, wouldn't it be nice if we were

-from postsecret-

But then i think...nah, that'll be boring.
Come on God > Universe > The Fates > Eros/Cupid, you can do better....right?
Love, adventure, excitement, hot-like-a-volcano with a great sense of humour but also responsible and sweet...

Interventions

I feel bad.
I made her cry. I haven't done that to another girl since high school. Not like i've made boys cry either, but i wish i could.

Im not a heartless bitch. I just told her what she needed to realize. What i've known all along.

We're smart girls, we know where we've fucked up.

It's just denial is so much nicer. Avoiding it means it doesn't exist, right? I'm coping.....really.....I'll do it, later...

Hmmm, lessons i haven't learnt myself. And im trying to tell you it's gonna keep on nipping at your heels, haunting the moments before you fall asleep until you learn it. and fix it.

Because we want it badly enough. So badly the pain is worth it. Because it will hurt. There is a price to pay, always.

So i tell myself. and im teling you. Our battles are different, but the lessons the same.

owh, it's tomorrow..........

Well, if you dont hear from me soon you know what happened.

Ah, the wednesdays

I've been lying around my house in my pyjamas for the past 12 hours.

i came home last night to tv and defrosted rendang. Fell asleep in front of the telly watching the departed. Thought i'd start work at midnight, but instead passed out till this morning.

I moved to the living room- thick toast with kaya, lovely cafetier expresso and leftover rendang while lounging watching daytime tv. I needed a change of scenery after a terrible case of Judge Judy and crawled back into bed.

It's quater to 1 now and im running a bath to try and save my day.

very Lush thinking, but if a DJ can save my life, im sure a bath can save my day. And my job application. Drag me out of depression. Stop me from having that cigaratte.

Tough call for a bath, but it might just do it. The bath is full now, teedleedoo.

I need nicer knees

wah, shy!

p/s i cannot draw.

Click to enlarge



catalog of injuries:
1. sore left thumb
2. very bruised ego