I won't slit my wrists because there is much else to be thankful for, but I will mark this event on my skin so I don’t forget.
Today I failed. Again. I failed. I was at fault. I did it. I was weak and I failed. I made a big mistake that cost us the race. We were overtaken. My crew tried, but rowing with me as deadweight didn’t help.
Forgetting is an art I have mastered. Why do I always forget? Why do I delude myself into thinking I can change?
I’ve tried, what little i could- and I have failed again. At what point does this become futile?
Things I have forgotten:
Bumps 2007
Bumps 2006
Looking back on my old blog entries, I'm truly embarrassed. I'm so full of shit, about changing my life and becoming better. Then i forget the lessons i have just learn and never change.
2 comments:
HEY!
Don't say that!!
There's still tomorrow and the day after. Cheer up! Buck up! You can do it and without you what is the team?
Smile.. and smiler wider as the pain gets worse :D
*Hugs*
are you taking a chunk of blame so big that you can't swallow it?
what good will marking your skin do if you cannot mark it in your wisdom?
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