Self-fulfilling prophecies or just fate?

I fancied myself fancying some fella i know sometime around christmas.

I had a friend, who is known to be good with these things, to do me a reading.

What he told me was that basicly nothing could happen. Hearts to far apart, apparently. But the cards did tell him something, a little odd comment.

Today i had a chat with said fella (i dont fancy myself fancying him no more. He's more mate-ish me thinks) and i realized that the cards got that little odd comment right.

Funny that.

I wonder sometimes if we really do have power over our future. Determinism is nice in the sense that you have no responsibility. It's not you, it's not him, it's fate and it's red strings.

But therein lies the problem. The hopelessness/helplessness of it all. The red strings no one can see.

I believe it's something in between. That fate is beautiful and kind and knows better but if you wanna fuck up your life then go ahead, fate wont stop you, fate'll just watch and make sure someone's there to give you a hug at the end. Fate gently nudges you in the right direction, but you can fight it. It's hard, it's uphill but it can happen. Wishing, wanting hard enough can change fate, so i believe.

In which lies my problem of not knowing what i want so i just let fate decide. But does fate always make the best choice? Is fate rational, does it calculate the universal cost and benefit? Is fate working in my best interest or the interest of the universe at large?

Bah humbug. Fuck this. I just keep on going 'round and 'round.