I am starting to see think my patients (who would be doing fairly ok) tend to die the day after i go out drinking. 
My God is not a vengeful God. 
that was my first thought after the initial statement crossed my mind. and the fact i think God would sacrifice another human being to warn me of the errors of my ways is very delusional. i must be so full of myself to think God would pay me that much attention. 
God is merciful and kind. 
Really. there is always much to be thankful for. 
i start on calls tomorrow. im so scared that God won't be on my side that i won't even have a cigarette. 
God is merciful and kind.
 
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