I open my eyes to see him at the door. I was properly asleep and it took me awhile to comprehend what was happening. The first thought on my mind was,
'do i have decent sleeping clothes on?'
I do sleep with very little on sometimes
Then it was,
'shit, i should lock the door when i sleep'.
I didnt even hear the knocking on the door, but knowing him he was probably trying to catch me unawares. Really unaware-i was in deep sleep. But i was impressed at my self-preservation instinct. My eyes flashed open the moment the door opened. Too bad i was too slow to throw the knife i keep under my pillow (im kidding, i dont keep a knife under the pillow-though a wish is to sleep with a man that does)(another wish is to snog a guy with a tongue stud).

No, he's neither. But really, he's been very wierd this past year. I blame Italy. I mollycoddled him there and now he thinks im such a pushover and a 'feeder of the world'. Ok, i admit i like feeding people, but this guy takes full advantage of it. Everyone knows i'm a pushover, but 'the amazing weekend' has given me an infusion of bitchiness that making me bolder, stronger and as confident as ever.
But this boy, he loves to make fun of me. I've been teased, joked about and bullied (not maliciously) with such fervour. I know they dont mean it maliciously, but it does hurt sometimes. I know i brush it off and laugh, but every joke is like a little cut, like the ones a friend used to make on his arm when he was feeling bad. That friend has beautiful scars on his arm. Pain and suffering documented. I've not talked to him in so long. Last i heard he's doing well.
I used to cut myself, but i've stopped doing it physically. Smoking has replaced it somewhat. Worst, i give myself psycological cuts.
But back to the boy-who-opened-the-door-and-almost-got-knifed (BWOTDAAGK)
He's footie mad. How typical. He's not a typical kind of guy i'd hang with. Maybe its because i was always wary of malay boys who loved football. I dont like football-no one in my family likes football and all my life i've been friends with non-footie fan boys. Im disgressing. Sorry.

Anyway, back to BWOTDAAGK. He and his best mate got me watching football. I admit i've always been fascinated by football. It's always been something everyone was into but i wasnt. I played decent football as a kid-but i never did sit and watch matches. So sometime last year they introduced me to watching footie. I admit, its engrossing. They also introduced me to a new way of seeing the world-it's all a major football game. There are managers, players, transfer markets, gameplays, coaches and strategies.
Its fascinating that a lot of footie occurances/events can be used to simplify complicated human interaction and relationships. To men. Men, typically like BWOTDAAGK, use football to explain the world and understand it. Im starting to understand it to. I can see how football anaolgies can be used to explain the world. From emotions to economics-football can act as example to all.
Ok, and now the real story. See, my preambles are super-long. Dont anybody ever say 'she was a good story teller' in my eulogy. Apparently it's code for 'she really couldnt shut up'.

The story is, Theo Wallcot has come to Queen Mary. Young, talented and able. And very cute. For those particularly slow-Theo Wallcot is code.
There are many managers in London who've heard of Theo. And they all want a piece of Theo. When Theo came down, there was a storm among the managers. Theo is cute, sweet and amiable. Very social butterfly, with an innocence that managers cannot resist. And so everyone stood up and strted paying attention to Theo; who by coming to Queen Mary has made Queen Mary famous. I gained enourmously from this. I'm like the assistant coach of second division team in which Theo playes. Everywhere i go, and i say im from QM, everyone asks me if i know Theo. In the whole race to get Theo signed up somewhere, a few key managers have come out. As far as i can tell there are about 5 main managers all trying to lure Theo in.
This is where BWOTDAAGK come in. He's a manager. And as far as i can tell, he's leading the race to get Theo. It helps that he is in close proximity with Theo. So far he's moving in fairly quickly and efficiently. Theo surprisingly is oblivious to all the attention. Theo seems to be taking all of this into stride, and many managers find this refreshing compared to former 'star' players who are good and KNOW they're good.
There's only one problem with BWOTDAAGK's plan. He unfortunately already has star striker and he cant do a Chelsea and sign in another (It's a moral issue, not a practical one). He's pretty loyal with his star striker(i suppose, but i have reason to doubt-there are things i've heard-side dealings and none-FIFA-approved discussions) .They've been a good team for awhile. The thing is as a manager he's happy with his star striker, but of course Theo is new, shiny and near. And maybe just a little bit better with the penalties. And thus a dilemma. To have and not to hold. I know how it feels. To win this race of who can get Theo is also an ego boost. To have succeeded where other managers have failed. Which makes things worst because he cannot morally sign Theo on.
And i feel bad for Theo. This manager has been inviting Theo for practise sessions and hanging out with the rest of the team. Theo is probably enjoying it all and really liking the manager who showering all this attention and care. But then at the back of Theo's mind there is no chance of being signed to the team. Unless Theo is up for being a substitute to star-striker. And i can imagine that in some cases you cant help but want to play for a team. Especially if the manager has been working so hard to get you.

So the story goes. I am merely an observer. A BBC/Guardian of sorts (i'd rather not be ITV or The Sun thanx). I wish i had principles to disapprove. I wish i had principles, period. But i never condemn. Because we all have our flaws. Its being human. Oh, and i love drama. My live is bland and so i delve in the drama of others. I even create drama to make life exciting. In a way im tired of just watching relationship drama. I want my own.

I would fall in love and fall out just to feel the highs and the lows.

And if you are ever in doubt if to pull a duvet of a girl sleeping in a kaftan-dont. Just dont.