It's officially time to take out the winter coats. This for me is bad tidings. I dont do too well in the cold. Im not an icy winter princess. Its so cold i shiver when i open my curtains-i have condensation building up on my windows. I keep my room warm, maybe even too warm. My body cant keep me warm enough i have to rely on heaters.
The cold makes me sleepy and lazy. All i want to do is snuggle under the covers-i now have to duvets piled in the bed......warm......The cold also make me sad. I use sad very generally, but winter sadness is not a depressed kind of sad-more of malancholy kind of sad. I read somewhere that malancholy and depression is different. The world needs malancholy. Its like grounding ourselves to reality. Its not forgetting about problems and troubles and just focusing on fun. Malancholy's ok. Its better than depression i suppose. A key diagnosis in depression is that the extreme sadness felt gets in the way of doing things. Disabled by depression. Malancholy is living life and being aware that life is not all happy joy-joy.
Been eating too much again. I cannot believe my body requires more fuel even though i have enormous stores. I have a body that can survive the next ice age. I havent bought food in the past week except my 2.70 quid breakfast this morning at the cafeteria. It was a fantastic fry-up-sausages, toast, beans and potatoes. It should be my one meal for the day. I may have a potato salad later, but i dont have any veg anymore. Im so broke i cant afford food. Well, i could if i dug deep, but i really shouldnt buy food. And, worse-im going to Nottingham this weekend for 3 days. Im staying with a friend-but im not sure i can afford to travel, eat and go out. I may have to put my hand in the cookie jar again. I dont want to-that money is suppose to go for my christmas trip. I really wanna enjoy myself then.
Money is a whole other issue. There's that and my lack of a social life. I suspect its linked to being broke, but then, loads of people are socially ok-they all cant be rich, can they? Most of my mates arent broke, and we get the same anount of money. Ok, i pay through the nose for that gym membership-thank god its gonna end soon. Its been good, but i just havent been controlling my food intake. I wish i could be anorexic-just for awhile.....I have such food issues-i should really have an eating disorder. Oh wait, i already do, its eating too much!
My issues at the moment:
1. I have no money
2. I'm so lethargic and lazy (i suspect its medical)
3. I dont study enough
4. I dont go out enough
5. There's no one to whine to (the blog doesnt count-it cant give me a hug, can it?)
6. I have an exam tomorrow
7. I left my jacket at the library
8. Its too cold
9. I miss family
10. I worry about Faiz