Love and a mingin' phone booth

There is one boy i'll brave the freezing cold, gale force winds and a mingin', rank phone booth for: my little brother faiz. I love the brat to death-he's my only little brother, the closest HLA match i might ever have; some even say we look similar (but then they also say he's the good looking one).

He's having the biggest exams of his life (so far): This exam may well determine his future and im scared and frightened for him. I've not talked to him for weeks and i've missed him so much. My excuse is i dont wanna get in the way of his studying. I sent him the best good luck card ever-unfortunately he didnt get it. Why the Royal Mail would be so EVIL i have no fucking idea. He deserved that card; you fucking bastards at the Royal Mail. He's a good kid and he deserved that card.

I feel guilty. No card, no calls-what more of a bitch sister can you have? So i brave the cold in my anorak and flip flops to call him at 11 pm at nite. So i can catch him before his exams at 8 in the morning. There's an 8 hour difference-he's earlier.

I wish him good luck and speak to my grandmother a bit. She's looking out for him because my parents are on holiday. Their timing cannot be any worse. I dont know why my mom had to go dubai and meet my dad there. Its not like they've never been. There are more important things. So what if they cant do anything? He needs the moral support. Yeah, so they think he's tough as nails and chilled about the exam. Maybe on the outside-but he's my sweet baby brother inside. He is so freaked out but he wont show it, that's not his way. He needs the parents there-just as a solid presence, moral support, just to be there.

My grandma is the best, but she's old, and to be honest i think my brother is looking out for her more than she for him. He's a good boy, but easily distracted. I doubt my grandma can enforce any discipline on him.

I worry and i fret. And so i will call twice a day, by fucking hook or crook. Broke or not.

I'll give up a lot for this brat. And suffer a lot to. Like losing my sense of smell standing in a mingin phone booth (it smelt of urine and i swear the piss was everywhere, i washed my hands after calling) just to wish him good luck. I'll give up cigarettes for a week, just please, please let him do well. I tried helping him the usual way-tutor him and stuff, but i am shit and crap so that didnt work. So i will pray, HARD. Its all i can do. Im no fatalist, but when there's little else to do divine help is the way to go.

And so i pray.

I pray that your mind will be clear.

I pray that you will be calm.

I pray that you will be eloquent and accurate; you will look at the questions and smile; that you will answer them well.

I pray you know the answers and whichever you guess are correct.

I pray that you will be confident, but not excessively so.

Let him do well in these exams, and also in life, please...........

I ferverently pray

All the best of luck little bro-i love you!